Snazzy Snippets

I saw this thingy and decided I wanted to do it, for two reasons: (1) it looks fun, and (2) this blog needs some new content at this point even if it is just a linkup. So. You people get to read my lovely first draft writing today.

Click on picture to go to linkup.

Your First 500 Words

This comes from Taken, since this is probably the piece of writing I've revised most in my short writing career and is probably a little bit better than other portions I could share.

“So who are we meeting again?”

Tyv’s eye twitched as he restrained what would have been the fifth eye-roll of the short conversation. The sun was hot and dry, and he was too deep into the cobbled network of streets to feel the sea breeze. The sun was setting, but it was still high enough to scorch Tyv’s eyes over the plastered buildings. He had to squint to see, and sweat was sticking to his skin under his threadbare shirt. He wanted to eat, and he needed a drink, but he’d get neither until he made it back to the abandoned inn. He wouldn’t be able to go there until he had gotten through the day’s work, which wouldn’t be over for another couple hours. All this meant he did not have patience to deal with Nitri.

Nitri didn’t notice and tossed his knife into the air, effortlessly catching it on its way down. He glanced at Tyv, waiting for an answer.

Tyv withheld a growl. “The two brothers you threatened a couple months ago.”

“Sh. I made a deal, Tyv.”

“There is a difference between those two words, you know.”

Nitri grinned, his impossibly white teeth providing stark contrast with his dark honey skin and curls of hair black as pitch. 

“Not where I’m concerned!”

Tyv couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes that time.

Nitri just grinned a little wider, satisfied that he’d provoked a reaction. Then he looked away and gave his knife another toss. 

“I think I remember them. Scrawny?”

“We’re all scrawny.”

“Speak for yourself, scarecrow,” Nitri said, using his free arm to flex his arm muscles under his black captain’s coat.

Tyv resolutely stared straight ahead and sped up the pace, feet brushing over the bumps of the cobblestones and hands hovering over the pair of knives he had sheathed at his own belt. His eyes darted around, watching for danger - they were in their home turf, after all. The twisting alleyways and dead-end streets coated in layers of dirt were littered with broken crates and barrels, piles of rotting cloth, splintered buckets, frayed scraps of rope - anything that was so broken that not even the homeless could find a way to use it. The lowering sun created dark shadows in the side streets, places for people to hide. Tyv’s skin crawled as he felt invisible eyes watching.

“Aw, come on Tyv!” Nitri said, slapping Tyv on the shoulder and making Tyv jump. “Lighten up. We’re collecting tribute!” He gave Tyv a moment to respond, which Tyv did not take advantage of. Nitri continued. “It might be some food! We’ll have a good meal tonight.”

Tyv had to admit that that would be nice, but he wasn’t optimistic.

“We don’t know what it is.”

Nitri sighed. “It had better be good. I don’t leave them alone for nothing.”

“This isn’t exactly leaving them alone.”

Nitri waved away the correction. “I’m not attacking them, am I? Taking everything they get by force? They should be happy to give me things.”

A Snippet You're Really Proud Of

This comes from later on in chapter 1 of Taken, and yes, I just love Tyv and Nitri banter. They're the best and that is why I love this scene.

“Come on,” Nitri said, putting his hands in his pockets and strolling down the alley. “Let’s head to the docks. After that we’ll be done for the day and we’ll head over to the market. Ambyr is down there, isn’t she? You can snatch her a knitting needle or something.”

Tyv jogged a few steps to catch up, then slowed to a walk next to his friend. “Ambyr wouldn’t have much use for just one knitting needle.” 

Nitri slung his arm over Tyv’s shoulders, and used the other arm to gesture as he spoke. “Whatever. Steal five if you need to. I’m sure that you’ll cheer up if she gives you one of her oh-so-pretty smiles.” Nitri grinned and leaned his head on Tyv’s shoulder, then looked up and Tyv and batted his eyelashes.

“That was a really bad imitation of her,” Tyv said, fighting a grin and shoving Nitri away instead.

“Oh yes? Well how about this then?” Nitri stopped walking and placed his left fist on his hip, then pointed at Tyv with his right hand. “Tyv!” Nitri’s voice was comically high-pitched. “Why do you insist on stealing? It’s wrong! Why have you let that dashing Nitri lead you astray?” 

Nitri struck a dancer-like pose, with the toes of his right foot pointed and barely touching the ground and his weight entirely on his other foot. He pressed the back of his right hand against his forehead while his other hand stayed on his hip, and he turned his head away from Tyv dramatically.

Tyv struggled not to smile, or worse, laugh. He wasn’t going to give Nitri the satisfaction. Instead, he leveled a glare at his friend. 

“That was even worse.”

Nitri’s pose dissolved and he pouted. “I thought it was pretty accurate.”

Tyv started walking again. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ambyr call you dashing.”

It was Nitri's turn to jog in order to catch up.“Well she thinks it. Everyone does.”

Tyv snorted. “I certainly don’t. And I doubt that Ambyr would find any thief dashing, despite how supposedly handsome you are.”

Those two are my favorite duo ever.

Beautiful People #8: Sibling Edition

Beautiful People is here again! I tried out this linkup last month and it was fun, and I needed something to post about, so it is back again! The linkup is hosted by Cait @ PaperFury and Sky @ Further Up and Further In. Click on either of those links to check the linkup out.

Last Beautiful People I did, I focused on my pair of twins, Ace and Mara. For the sake of not boring you guys, I won't go over them again (even though I love them to bits and would go on about them forever). Instead, I'm switching to my Camp NaNoWriMo revision WIP, Taken, and its dynamic thieving duo, Tyv and Nitri. They're not actually siblings but they act like brothers, so it's good enough.

"Tyv" by Annika Smith

"Nitri" by Annika Smith

1. What is the first memory they have of each other?
Nitri's is minutes earlier than Tyv's. He spotted Tyv being attacked by two adult thieves, and stepped in to save Tyv's life. That's where Tyv's recollection starts. Then Nitri (being Nitri), turned the fact that he was able to fight off two men away single-handedly to threaten Tyv into paying him a tribute. At the time, Tyv was twelve and Nitri was fifteen.

2. Describe their relationship in 3 words.
Got your back.

3. What kinds of things do they like to do together?
Hang out in the abandoned inn, Tyv whittling while Nitri plays his flute. They also enjoy a unhealthy amount of banter.

Tyv and Nitri bantering from chapter 1 of Taken by Annika Smith

4. What was their biggest fight?
Since they actually started acting like siblings? When Tyv first brought Ambyr back to the abandoned inn. Neither Tyv or Nitri really knew anything about her, apart from that she was an orphan living with her abusive uncle. Nitri wasn't too happy that Tyv had given away where they stayed to a strange girl. Then it was made worse when Tyv revealed he'd promised to protect her. Nitri didn't want to "waste" the resources on who he thought would be a useless addition to their team. Tyv managed to keep Nitri from killing both Ambyr and Tyv himself, and with time as Ambyr proved herself useful Nitri let it go.

5. How far would they go to save each other?
They would both die for each other, if the other's life was immediately threatened. Both are pretty pragmatic, though, so they wouldn't risk their own lives in say, a rescue attempt that turned into a fight, unless the other's life was at immediate risk. That being said, Nitri doesn't seem to care too much about threat of death, so he may be more prone to a hot-headed charge than Tyv would be.

6. What are their pet peeves about each other?
Nitri thinks Tyv is way too serious and cautious. Surprisingly, though, the main issue he has with Tyv is that Tyv is taller than he is, despite being two or three years younger. He's always been the leader of their duo, but he's slightly on the shorter side. He doesn't like the picture that presents.
Tyv, on the other hand, is mainly annoyed by how cavalier Nitri is. He wishes Nitri would be cautious every now and then instead of throwing himself into danger (and therefore dragging Tyv into danger with him).

7. What are their favorite things about each other?
Tyv appreciates Nitri's ability to joke around, in addition to his skill as a ruthless fighter. He is a little awed by how easily Nitri interacts with people of all kinds (usually to fool them). Nitri, for his part, values Tyv as a reliable fighter and for his natural ability to intimidate others with his nigh-perpetual scowl and height. He also loves the challenge of trying to get Tyv to crack a smile.

8. What traits do they share? Mannerisms, clothing, quirks, looks, etc?
They fight in a very similar fashion, since it was Nitri who taught Tyv, and both use a pair of knives as weapons. They both roll their eyes a lot, though Nitri is much more expressive. Tyv picked up on Nitri's smirk. They both have black hair, but Tyv's is more like a raven's wing black and Nitri's is more like pitch. Since they're not even from the same nation they don't share too much in appearance apart from that.

9. Who has the strongest personality?
They both have very strong personalities, but I'm going to say Nitri just because his is so much more noticeable. Tyv is extremely reserved and stoic and serious, but Nitri is all over the place. Dramatics, rage, vanity, wit - it is all out in the open.

10. How does their relationship change throughout your story? 
Most of the change happens on Nitri's part. Once they get to Kampen, and Nitri realizes what Tyv's background is, Nitri gets paranoid that Tyv is going to leave him, so distrusts him and thinks negatively of him (even though Tyv never gave any indication of abandoning Nitri). They do resolve it in time, but Nitri remains slightly suspicious that Tyv will decide that "the grass is greener on the other side." Nitri develops a dislike for a new major person in Tyv's life, thinking that he is going to be replaced by said new person. The dislike is returned and it traps Tyv in the role of a frustrated mediator.

As I said, I've been working more with these two because of Camp NaNoWriMo. They've been making me laugh.

Do you have any siblings in your story? Any characters who act like siblings? Did you do the Beautiful People linkup this month? Leave a comment! 

Nitri's Interview

Hello everyone, and welcome to today's post, where I am entertaining a very special guest. Meet Nitri! *Nitri walks on, grinning widely and winking at all the girls* Yes yes, Nitri, very good, now just sit down for a moment and then we'll get on with the questions. 
(He's got a Jageran . . .ehem, sort of Arabic . . .accent)
Can't we get on with them now?
No, we cannot. I have to do an introduction.
Didn't you just do that?
Partially. I'm not done yet; now stop trying to out-sass me. I invented your sass. Anyway, Nitri has obligingly shown up to answer all the questions you wonderful people have asked. Actually, he's been waiting in agony for this day to come for over a week. He's been more than happy to get an approved opportunity to brag.
I'm not bragging, I only state facts.
I'm not buying it since you're a certified liar. 
Oh come on, Annie - can I call you that? - stop being . . .
NEVER call me Annie; I will put you on board even more boats!
*raises hands* Okay, nevermind then.
Good. Anyway, back to business . . .the questions!
Finally! Ooh, a picture of me!
*rolls eyes*

"Nitri Sketch" by Annika S. 

What kind of knife do you use? Have you ever cut yourself? (Would you even admit it if you had?)

*takes out a knife from its sheathe and holds it out for examination* My knives are very special; very rare.They are Jageran fighting knives, a matching set, crafted by best smith in Jager, using the finest steel the nation had to offer. As you can see, the double-edged blades are unlike those found in any other nation of the known world, with a double curve tapering to a needle-sharp point. There are no cross guards because only a useless knife fighter would need them, and Jagerans are the best knife fighters in the known world. And see here, how the hilt and pommel are made of quality bronze? These knives are coveted by every man who knows about them. I cannot tell you how difficult it has been to hang on to these exquisite blades, defending them from all sorts of murderers and thieves!
May I point out that you are a thief, Nitri?
*starts flipping the knife into the air and catching it* Details. And for the last part of that question, I must admit to cutting myself a few times when I first started. But I pushed through the pain to learn this skill, and now, as you can see, I have no problem catching them by the hilts. Obviously, yes, I have admitted to it. My honor is nothing if I lose my reputation for honesty.
Please. 
I am offended by your distrust, Annie . . .Annika. You have wounded me to the depths of my soul!

Watch it, mister. Now how about this interesting question: would you ever buy an elephant? What about a panther? If so, how much would you consider a decent price?
Elephants? Panthers? What are you talking about!?
Elephants are large animals, gray with lots of wrinkly skin, which are as big as houses. They're got long tusks and can be used for work and riding, if they're trained properly. Panthers are huge black cats, about three feet high, with wicked claws and teeth. They're both very dangerous animals. 
But you can train them, you say?
Yes, if you get them as babies and know what you're doing.
Ah, I see. Well, I must say that the idea of having a panther, as you call it, to assist me in ruling my subjects is a very appealing one, despite the apparent risk to life and limb. After all, that risk could be turned onto others, couldn't it? Like an attack dog, but scarier? I wouldn't have much use for an elephant, though. As for price, I wouldn't pay it! I'm a king; I don't have to pay.
And just how would you go about that?
Well, I'd get close to the seller, make him think I'm preparing to buy. Then, I don't know what I'd do. *shrugs* Either grab the beast and run, get Tyv to hold him, or have Tyv cause a distraction - there are really any number of ways to go about it. I don't really plan these things out, you know.

Oh, trust me, I know. Here's a similar question to the last one. Would you ever buy a cat?
A cat? What would I want a cat for?
Well, they can catch mice - 
And eat my food, and get fur all over my nice black coat!
That thing hasn't been "nice" for three years, but I presume the answer, then, is no?
No! And if I did get a cat, I would steal it, obviously. But as I said, no point . . . *whispers* unless I ate it.

That is absolutely disgusting and barbaric! Remind me never to let you get near a cat. But on the topic of stealing, what sort of things do you like to steal in particular?
Oh, lot's of things. *begins tossing knife again* I steal useful things, like bread and money and fabric. But what I really like to steal are things that are just fun to have. Like colorful beads, or a Jageran turban, And of course, this captains' coat. I stole it from a Mejoran ship when I was fifteen. Snuck right into the captain's quarters, then had to duel the fellow to make my escape! It was hard, and I doubt anyone else could have managed it. But it was worth it, because now everyone can see how important I am.
Explain that.
Well, length of coattails is a sign of how rich someone is, right? These coattails are nice and long, so I have high rank. Everyone knows that.

Actually, not everyone does. Have you ever been caught?
*Holds hand to chest importantly* Well I'm known amongst all the ladies as being very hard to catch -
I think this question refers to the Town Guard.
Oh, you're no fun. *sigh* I have never been inside their filthy hole of a prison. I have, however, heroically escaped their clutches several times.
Heroically?
Yes. Heroically. Several times they have nearly beaten me, even tied my hands behind my back once! But I have always fought my way free before they can drag me away to be tossed into the jail. I'm smarter than them, see? *taps temple* Not to mention a better fighter! They should know better by now than to try to catch me, the Street King of Bemark!

You'd think, wouldn't you? Now here's a different sort of question. Do you collect anything in particular? Like keys or rings or something of the like?
Well I do like spices. They're not particularly useful for trading, but they smell good. Sometimes I sprinkle some on my coat, or mix a little with water and rub it on my skin. It makes the girls swoon. *winks*

I'm sure. Ooh, a good one: Why did you  pick Tyv to 'protect'?
Tyv? My right hand man?
Yes, there's only one Tyv in Bemark.
Well I came across him when I was fifteen, and Tyv was just thirteen. At first I was going to go take his steals away, because he's Kampene, and Kampenes and Jagerans don't get along. But then Jasp and Trint attacked him first and I decided to save his little hide, to get him indebted to me. It worked, but I realized that he didn't have a Kampene accent and seemed completely clueless that he and I should be mortal enemies. I made a . . .ehem . . .deal with him - he was a good thief, fast, and though he wasn't the best knife fighter back then he had potential. He also had nerve. I figured that under my influence he'd make a good second in command. I was right, except he still needs to loosen up a little. He's so uptight. Oh, and he's now taller than me thanks to his Kampene genes, which is not on. Can you believe it? My right hand man is taller than me! I've forbidden him from growing any more.

Good luck with that - he's still got a few years left to get even taller, whereas you're just about done. Last question, and a warning: you're not going to like it. What do you wish you were able to forget?
*silence**clutches his knife hilts*
You have to answer.
I won't. *clutches knives tighter*
Do it. 
No.
At least a hint? The readers will love it. It will add to your mystery.
 . . .
Come on. Everyone loves a tragic hero.
They do?
*nods vigorously* Yes, they do. They absolutely love tragic heroes. It will make you swoon-worthy. Girls fangirling all over you.
 . . .Just a hint, then. *releases knives*
*sighs in relief**nods encouragingly*
I wish I could forget my family.
 . . .
 . . .
That all you're willing to say? 
Yes.
Clammed up for the rest of the night?
Yes.

Well, I guess that's it! Sorry to leave it off on that note, but I had to save that question for last. I knew Nitri would clam up after he heard it. Honestly, we're lucky he didn't pull his knives and throw them at me. 
More character interviews may be coming in the future! Sorry that there wasn't a regular post this week - NaNoWriMo and school have made things hectic. 

Character Cast of Taken

I thought I'd introduce you all to the main characters of my main project right now. For now, it is called Taken, and I'm in the editing stages of it.

The protagonist's name is Tyv (actually a Danish word for thief). As the name implies, he's a fifteen-year-old thief living in a bankrupt country. His usual facial expression is a scowl, and for the most part he only cares about himself - the exceptions being Nitri and Ambyr, who are below. Deep down he struggles with the idea that he was abandoned as a baby, but not even he realizes that it bothers him.  He's very realistic, verging on the point of pessimistic, and is skeptical of just about everything and everyone. Once he gives his trust though, he's loyal to a fault. And contrary to what is expected from a thief, he keeps his word once it is given. The whole plot of Taken only happens because of Tyv's loyalty to Ambyr and the promise he'd given her. Without his loyalty to that promise I'd have no plot!

My drawing of Tyv

(excuse the lack of face - I hate drawing small faces).

Next up is Nitri (I'll be honest and admit he's my favorite baby). He's Tyv's best friend, though a few years older and a bit scarier. While Tyv is all grim and scowl-y, Nitri is laid-back and grins a lot. So why is he scarier? There's a chance he's slightly insane. I'm really not sure if he is - all I know is that he mimics a child's hide-and-go-seek "I'm gonna find you!" tone while he's threatening death on his enemies, and he enjoys scaring the wits out of the other people living in the slums. He is also a lot more heartless than Tyv is. He rules over the other thieves by terrifying them into giving up portions of whatever they steal. He takes way more risks than Tyv is comfortable with and seemingly has no care for his own life. It all stems from his silent struggle with a past tragedy, which he refuses to reveal to anyone.
He's unilaterally deaf, so he relies on Tyv for hearing approaching danger when they're surrounded by a lot of noise. He also has the disconcerting habit of tossing his knives in the air and catching them, without looking. One day he's going to seriously hurt himself, I'm sure. He's ridiculously vain as well, and refuses to take off the black coat he stole from a ship's captain.

My drawing of Nitri

The last important "good" character is Ambyr. She is the only female character in the entire book, and I did try to find way to bring more girls into it, but in a book set in a medieval style army, there aren't many chances for girls to be around. Ambyr herself is only around in the first quarter and then last chapter of Taken, but her influence on Tyv keeps her in mind through the whole thing.
Ambyr is the only truly "good" person in my main cast. She has a set moral code, is selfless and charitable, and dreams of one day leaving her hometown and setting up a wonderful life somewhere, a life in which she won't have to collaborate with thieves and live in the slums. She's fifteen like Tyv, and like Tyv, is an orphan - though she actually knew her parents. She trades items Tyv and Nitri steal with respectable shop keepers and merchants to lessen the chance of Nitri or Tyv being recognized. She refuses to steal anything herself, however, something that earns her derision from Nitri. One of Ambyr's chief goals is to get Tyv (and Nitri, though she doesn't care for him as much) to set up a respectable life instead of subsisting on thievery. She wants to inspire Tyv to be a better person.

My drawing of Ambyr

The last character I'll go over is my antagonist: High General Keir Durjaya. Think of Khan from Star Trek: Into Darkness and you've got a fair idea of his general bearing and appearance (it wasn't until I was well into the writing process that I realized I was imagining Keir as Benedict Cumberbatch - go figure). Keir was so injured by the death of his wife that he resolved never to get emotional again. Because of this he never hints at having emotion at all, and presents a frightening picture to anyone who is in his way. He does have a deep love for his son and for his country, but to anyone else he is callous. His method of waging war is brutal, and he uses any means at his disposal to ensure that he'll win a battle before it is even started. Keir isn't the antagonist because he's a villain, though. He's the antagonist simply because his extreme patriotism and desire to wreak vengeance for his country conflict with Tyv's goal of ending the invasion which my plot revolves around.

Benedict Cumberbatch - Keir Durjaya

So, that's it! It took me ages to develop these characters - most of them started out being about as interesting as cardboard, and it was a challenge to make them each unique from each other. I proved it to myself by giving the characters the Myers-Briggs test (I'll blog about that later)!

My favorite is Nitri because of his fun-loving nature and his tragic past. Who's your favorite character from your writing and why?